I know they say don’t bring your work home with you, but sometimes you don’t really have a choice. Gus and I got another shipment of those imported oranges the other day. The Mrs. is gettin’ tired of hearing me bellyache about ‘em, so I told her to be my guest and have at it. So she tried her hand at some imported-orange-home-décor. It was a real nice try at making a real homey view as I sit back every morning and enjoy a glass of my 100% Florida orange orange juice. But this particular decorating idea? Well, I can live with an imported clock, but imported oranges? That’s just cuckoo.
Some of you may have noticed that a while ago I posted some imported orange-related crafts videos on the side over there. For those of you who didn’t, this week I’ve decided to feature the “pencil holder” video that Gus and I put together. During this gift-giving season, it’s always good to remember that nothing says “I care” like something you made yourself. Especially if that something is helping you dispose of unwanted non-Florida-grown imported oranges. The video was pretty fun to make. I’m not going tell you how it ends, but it involves a hot glue gun and macaroni. Fasten those seatbelts…
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I sure appreciate all the nice responses I’ve been getting from you folks over the past couple weeks. It’s extremely reassuring to know that I’m not going through this imported orange ordeal alone. In fact, some of you have even taken to sending in photos of your ideas. Here’s one I received from Joe B. of Montgomery, Alabama. He says it keeps him from pulling in too far when he parks his car in his garage. Frankly, if I ever saw that thing hanging in front of my windshield, I’d be inclined to peel out of there faster than a bobcat with its tail on fire. That being said, I’d like to invite you all to take photos or videos of your own ideas and send them in. Just hit the “submit” button on the side, there. We should have a gallery up and running shortly. Just remember, orange crafts are one thing, but when it comes to eating or drinking, best to stick with the 100% Florida-grown types.
Yes, another crate arrived. It occurred to me last night that it’s possible I’m the target of an elaborate hoax. Perhaps one of those reality prank shows waiting for me to jump around in anger and make a fool of myself. Well, all I can say is, keep waitin’ buddy. It takes more than a crate of non-Florida imported oranges to rattle Ol’ Dave. Frustrate, yes. But rattle, no. Oh, and anyone remember tetherball?
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Gus and I were moving some stuff out of the barn this morning and came across his old pitching machine. I do have to admit: though they may not be grown in America, and though they’ll never see their way into my breakfast glass, a few imported oranges can certainly make the end of baseball season a little easier to stomach:
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We’ve also been playing around in the fashion world. Our first accessory: orange muffs. Special thanks to my nephew, Timmy, for modeling. You can tell he’s pretty excited. If you’d like to make your own, check out our arts and crafts videos at the top of our home page.
Gus and I’ve been working on our tennis game. Not sure our equipment is regulation-grade, especially the tennis balls, which tend to expire after just a few whacks, but wow, do you get a good workout. Florida Growers 40, Imported Oranges, love.
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I’d also like to remind you all to send in your own “imported orange use” suggestions. Photos, videos, drawings, whatever. Just send ‘em here.
I am totally stumped. Absolutely at a loss. I’ve been thinking about it for weeks, and I just cannot seem to figure out who’s been sending me these crates of imported oranges. Which is why I’ve decided to post the following open letter of apology:
Dear Imported Orange Sender,
Forgive me. Whatever it is that I did to hurt you, I hope you can find it in your heart to stop sending me these imported oranges. I’m a just simple man trying to make the best glass of juice he can. Please let the madness end.
Yours truly,
Farmer Dave
I hope that does it. I mean, leave me a crate of Florida-grown, American oranges anytime, really. But imported? Let’s be reasonable! Sorry, guess I’m a little stressed. And when I’m stressed, I golf.
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Sure enough, another crate of imported oranges on the doorstep this morning. Yes, that is two now. Mighty kind gesture, but again, if they’re not grown in Florida, as far as I’m concerned, they’re not even in the fruit family. If y’all have any thoughts as to what to do with a hundred or so imported oranges, I’d be much obliged for the suggestions. As you can see here, Ol’ Spencer has one or two thoughts of his own.
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Right now you’re probably wondering why an orange farmer is writing a “web-log.” It’s because yesterday a large crate of imported oranges arrived on my doorstep. Probably fifty or so. No return address, no note, no nothing. Yes, I am an orange grower, and yes, I work for Florida’s Natural, but honestly, I can’t think of anything to do with a crate of imported oranges. Not something I would ever eat. And they sure as spots on a toad ain’t going in my all-Florida orange juice. So what to do with them? Suggestions or advice are more than welcome. I did have one thought, though:
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Here's a few videos for all you arts and crafts fans out there. Enjoy.
Pencil Holder
Ear Muffs
O-Yo
Knee Pads